Everyone makes mistakes when dating, but if you’re a perfectionist and want to nail it at your first-ever date as a gay person, there are some common mistakes that you should avoid and certain things that you should do to make your date have a great first impression.
Whether you’re on gay apps or gay dating sites searching for love, lust, or casual friendship, these tips will work for any gay individual who wishes to leave lasting impressions. Let’s dive into the top 7 mistakes you should avoid as a gay man or woman while on dates.
1. Know your type but be open-minded
Gay dating sites let you date within your niche. You’ll come with a mindset of finding “that” perfect guy or gal when looking for love. But trust us, everything that glitters is not gold; your expectations will be your worst enemy. If you’re into jockey men or butch women and in an encounter find a skinny limp dude or femme female sitting on date tables with you, don’t be alarmed. Pictures don’t translate what real life is like.
If you’re dating for the long-run, then be ready to give up a lot of expectations and compromise on things you never thought you’d. Sex might be a priority for you, but not everyone is great in bed. Ultimately your love for one another will overcome such small obstacles.
Be open to many “types” don’t fixate on your preference of particular types and miss out on what other “types” can offer. Some men and women are into polygamous relationships, embrace that and have conversations about it.
2. Date with Caution
Gay dating sites, much like lesbian dating sites, are notorious for their shady profiles and average to above-average price points for premium memberships. If you’re on dodgy websites hoping to score dates with automated chat messages, good luck. These often don’t work out. More premium websites sure charge you fortunes but improve chances of meeting the love of your life drastically. So don’t throw your lives worth of savings on shady websites.
Gay men and lesbian women make mistakes of labeling what they have going on too fast. Everyone wants to secure themselves great life partners when they see the right person, but it will do you no good coming across as an aggressive and possessive mate.
You might be ready to commit, but the other party might be testing the waters. So, drop that fantasized dream life and remain in touch with reality before forcing your ideology onto your partner. Don’t make the mistake of getting involved with personal affairs as soon as the first date is over; stick to that dating chat app.
4. Video Chat before Meeting
This highlights the point “date with caution.” Video chatting will allow you to form more intimate bonds before meeting in real life. It will also serve as a deal-breaker for some if the person on screen doesn’t translate to the person in pictures.
5. Accept long-distance relationships
It sucks having to find the love of your life living halfway across the globe. Don’t give up the idea of long-distance because you can’t “handle” the kilometer in between; love is a powerful thing and can overcome any obstacle, even distance. Gay and lesbian dating doesn’t come easy, so being open to as many opportunities will be your fairy godmother.
6. Don’t pretend, be yourself.
This dating advice is applicable for heteros and queers alike. Being yourself is an important aspect; you can’t play pretend your whole life. Once you start to put on façades and act like someone you’re not, getting out of the shell is hard if that’s what initially attracted your partner.
It is crucial you don’t compare yourself or your relationship with others. The media always gives gay men subtle messages that their partners need to be sexy, hot, chiseled men with a 6-pack who knows A-to-Z about great sex. All this is a falsified reflection of what relationships are alike; no two relationships are similar since no two people are similar. It is absurd to try and live to stereotyped standards.
7. Let go
First dates are rarely successful. If yours isn’t a success, don’t give up. Plenty of fishes in the sea are waiting for baits. Don’t fixate on the idea of a “perfect relationship” or “living every day like it’s your last.” These are relationship killers. Spontaneous-Ness isn’t everyone’s forte, nor does these messages deliver the mindset of mature people.